rosalicious

[My apologies in advance: I wrote this a long time ago and kept adding on to it...it's really long.....sorry!]

In the spirit of just having seen Michael Moore’s “Sicko,” here’s my own sordid health story, of which you’ve already read bits and pieces. Now let me pull it all together for you just so you can accurately see how our healthcare system failed ME.

A timeline, perhaps, so you can also see JUST HOW LONG I NEEDLESSLY SUFFERED?

April 29: I feel “dizzy” in Seattle, but chalk it up to the weird lights in the hotel and the motion from the elevator that would take me up and down 28 floors every day. And also: the big ol’ monstrous hangover I’ve had the entire time

May 7: I am still feeling “dizzy,” dizzy like I am sinking into the floor or floating, not spinning, so I make a call to Kaiser and tell the nurse who answers what I am feeling. The sensation is weird, like nothing I’ve ever felt – “sinking” and “floating” are the only words I am able use to describe it. The nurse says “Oh, sounds like you have vertigo” and notes in my file that that is what I am coming in for. When I go in later that afternoon to see the doctor, I am having a major panic attack because I’ve just googled “vertigo” and all kinds of scary shit popped up. The doctor (not my normal one) does a super quick neurological exam (lift eyebrows, squint, pull hands, kick feet, etc) and then tells me that she “sees vertigo all the time” and “it is probably a virus and will go away.” She reassures me I am not dying and sends me on my way. No meds or anything

May 14: One week later, I am still feeling the floating/sinking “dizziness”, and also anxiety because I have no idea what is causing what’s wrong with me. I read online that Valium is sometimes prescribed for vertigo, so I call my normal doctor and ask for a prescription. A nurse calls me back and says to get some Meclizine, which is an over-the-counter medication used to treat vertigo, so I do. It does nothing for me. I call back the next day and demand some Valium and I am told I have to make an actual appointment to get that.

May 18: The aforementioned appointment is today. I’m still feeling pretty fucking bad and I am leaving for Belize the next day! I still have the floaty/light-headed sensation but now I also have awful head and face pressure. My ears also feel weird and clogged. My doctor looks in them briefly and says “they look fine to me” and then writes me a prescription for Ativan, which is both an anti-anxiety and anti-dizzy medication that she says is better than Valium for vertigo and is not as strong (whatever, it is so strong!). She also tosses me a handout for the Epley Maneuver, which is a series of PT exercises designed for positional vertigo. I tell her about my awful head and face pressure and she responds “it’s your brain working too hard to keep your balance.” I leave feeling blown off because she tells me what a bad day it has been for her and how there were only 2 docs on all day.

May 19- 28: We’re in Belize! I feel pretty good the whole time and assume whatever it was I had simply (and randomly) went away, like the doctor said it would. And I’d be lying if I didn’t have a suspicion that maybe it was all just anxiety-induced, because really, it just seemed to disappear so suddenly while on vacation.

May 31: I am back in Colorado, home from work with my broken toe. My ears start to feel clogged again, like there is fluid in them. Later that day the floating feeling comes back. Soon my face pressure does too.

June 6: I am back in my doctor’s office (and not for the broken toe!) My chart still says I am being seen for vertigo. I bring Kevin with me this time, as we both mean business! It is total BS that it has been over a month and I have gotten NOWHERE – no meds, no official diagnosis (vertigo is a symptom, not a disorder in and of itself) – and I still feel like complete shit. I have a fever of 99.5 and Kevin tells my doctor that I’ve had really bad breath. I tell her my ears still hurt and again, she looks in and goes “they look fine.” I tell her it feels like there is fluid in them and she acts like she doesn’t believe me. She tells me that maybe I have Meniere’s Disease and should see a ENT (ears, nose, throat)/balance/vertigo specialist. She also recommends an MRI to rule out MS or a tumor. She seems pretty clueless as to what’s wrong with me and calls an ENT. He says I am not a “classic vertigo case” and should be seen immediately. I put on my sunglasses and sob the whole way out of the building, again, with no meds or anything to make me feel better.

June 7: Fed up with western medicine, I have my first acupuncture appointment. It throws me completely out of it after it’s over, but the treatment itself feels really good. She takes me off all dairy and sugar and gives me some Chinese herbs. She says my energy is flowing up, instead of down, and that I have an extraordinary amount of mucus (but my nose is not running or anything).

June 9: I get the brain MRI. It’s not bad at all – it’s actually kind of relaxing! At this point, I really do not think I have a brain tumor or MS and I am not scared about the results, but I do want to rule any major things out. The tech isn’t supposed to tell you the results, but I could tell I was fine when she said “you did great” with a certain look in her eyes.

June 12: Sure enough, MRI results are normal.

June 14: I have more acupuncture done and take more Chinese herbs. Not feeling any better, but I am willing to try anything.

June 18: I could not get in to the ENT until now, almost 2 weeks later! And that was WITH a special phone call from my doctor. Otherwise, it would not have been until August that I could have gotten in. I am still feeling all the same symptoms – floating, clogged/popping ears, face pressure, headache, not sleeping or eating (lost over 10 lbs). I first take a hearing test, which proves my hearing is perfect. Then I meet with the specialist, who upon hearing my story immediately goes: you don’t have vertigo, I can tell you that right now. HUH? Apparently true vertigo is intense spinning and nausea and I do not have this AT ALL. She looks in my ears and up my nose and in my throat and tells me my nasal turbinates are really swollen and that my throat is pinker than normal. I am diagnosed with “eustachian tube dysfunction,” which means that my eustachian tubes are also swollen, which is clogging up my ears. And….dum…dum….dum: I have a sinus infection! She recommends we tackle my illness from all angles, so schedules me for an ENG balance test, to test my inner ears. She also prescribes antibiotics and a steroid nasal spray. Thank fucking god!

June 19: My third acupuncture appointment – I feel hopeful.

June 27: I am still taking all the meds for the sinus infection and I am actually starting to feel better! IMAGINE THAT! I still have to take the ENG test, though, just to make sure my vestibular (inner ear) system is functioning normally. This test SUCKS. They blow air into your ears and make you lie there in dark goggles while you spin around the room – or it feels that way, anyway. You’re really just lying there. THAT is what vertigo is and now I know for sure…I don’t have vertigo. Never have. My test is normal.

June 28: I have acupuncture again and I am really seeing improvement.

June 29: I have CranioSacral therapy to help with the sinus pressure and my ears and I think it helps.

July 3: Almost as good as new! Woohooo!

So you see, all it took was that one nurse, who had never even seen me or asked me any other questions about my health, to write the word “vertigo” on my chart to lead to 8 weeks of serious fucking misery. ONE. WORD.

But me, I didn’t know any better. I had no idea what vertigo was. I just assumed I had it because that’s what I was told. I trusted the doctor and the nurse. I had never had a sinus infection, either. I always thought sinus infections were like colds – runny nose, sneezing, can’t breathe etc. and I didn’t feel like I had a cold. But looking back: I had all the classic signs of a sinus infection! How could they not have seen that? I’ll tell you why – because the doctor couldn’t be bothered to take the time with me. Had she even looked up my nose (which she didn’t) she maybe would have seen how swollen it was up there. She was stuck on pure semantics. Pure textbook.

Those 8 weeks were especially heinous not only because of the symptoms. I was a total freaking basket case. The anxiety of not knowing what was wrong with me was really intense – I felt like I was going crazy. I questioned whether or not it was all in my head. I felt like one of those medical mysteries. Sure, you can look at it now and be like – pshaw…sinus infection, so obvious! – but remember, I didn’t know that. I did a ton of research on the web in those weeks. I became addicted to health message boards. Before I was officially diagnosed, I did come to suspect I had a sinus infection because of the face pressure, but there was not much online about feeling floaty or “dizzy” along with it. Doctors and websites steer clear of anything related to “dizzy” – there are so many forms of it and everyone describes it differently; it makes them nervous, I think. It also means they have to WORK at a diagnosis and in a big HMO like mine, working extra means more spending money and they’re certainly not about that!

Once I began taking the antibiotics, it only took me 2 weeks to feel better. Doctors today don’t want to “over-prescribe”, but in my case, they fucked up and didn’t listen. I did ask for antibiotics, “in case it was an ear infection.” I didn’t get them. I was told they “did nothing for vertigo.”

The bigger question in all this is to what degree is the patient responsible for her treatment? I feel like I was left to diagnose myself – and in the end, I was right. But it wasn’t without weeks on end of suffering. I could have been as good as new much earlier if I had been treated correctly the first time. Some might argue, however, that I didn’t present my other symptoms until 2 weeks later. I did feel ear-clogged and face-pressured at the beginning of May but I put those symptoms on the back burner because they weren’t as scary as the floaty/sinking feeling. I thought that something serious was really wrong with me…like something in my brain…

Anyway…..this is one bitch of a post, isn’t it? Good god! I just had to get this posted so now I can officially move on from all of it. I see my doctor tomorrow (for something routine) and let me tell you….I can’t WAIT to tell her she fucked up!

P.S. I was better in Belize…guess why? The humidity and the lower air pressure.